"H is for Hawk" by Helen Macdonald
Examing a passge from H is for Hawk by Helen Macdonald
When I found out about my twin many years later, the news was surprising. But not so surprising. I'd always felt a part of me was missing; an old, simple absence. Could my obsession with birds, with falconry in particular, have been born on that first loss? Was that ghostly kestrel a grasped-at apprehension of my twin, it's carefully drawn jesses a way of holding tight to something I didn't know I'd lost, but knew had gone? I suppose it is possible. (Macdonald 79)
I chose this paragraph because it is very important to understanding the main character, Helen, and her motives for wanting to tame a hawk. It addresses how over time, the void from her lost twin becomes too much to bear and she finds a way to fill it.
Point of View
This is written in first person and the speaker appears to be the author because the speaker later says her name is Helen. Another reason why I believe the speaker is the author is that through out the book and this passage in particular, she gives such an intimate account of her feelings and experiences that it is very likely that the author went through these things her self.
Tone/Mood
The paragraph's mood is sad and dark. The speaker is talking about the loss of her twin and how all her life she was unconsciously trying to fill that void in her heart with birds and taming them.
The paragraph's tone is reflective. The speaker is thinking and reflecting on her actions and her fascination with birds. She sounds almost detached as she examines her unconscious motives. For example when she says "the news was surprising. But not so surprising... I suppose it is possible," it sounds as if she's examining herself from an outsiders perspective (Macdonald, 79).
Symbolism and Allegory
The symbol is the jesses. These are leather straps that attach the bird to the handler. The jesses represent Helen's desire to hold on tight to her unknown twin. This is symbolized by Helen stating that "it's carefully drawn jesses a way of holding tight to something I didn't know I'd lost, but knew had gone" (Macdonald,79). Helen recognizes that her actions (she was preparing the jesses at this time) are a result of her emptiness. Also when she mentions her twin and contemplative questions in this passage, it lead me to conclude this is what the jesses symbolized.
This relates to the meaning of the story by giving me insight as to why she so desperately wants to tame this hawk. It shows her deeper layers as a character. It reveals the extent and length of her grieving and that she is trying to find ways to cope with this old loss and the very new loss of her father.
